Juvenile Brain Trust http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog Lessons for kids and families with Michael Carrino and his children (formerly Armchair Kid Nation) Fri, 17 Oct 2008 04:00:54 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2.1 en ©Michael Carrino and his Children http://juvenilebraintrust.com/rss/ mike@juvenilebraintrust.com (Michael Carrino and his Children) mike@juvenilebraintrust.com Parenting 1440 kid, nation, carrino, michael, cbs Michael Carrino and his children learn valueable family lessons Lessons for kids and families with Michael Carrino and his children (formerly Armchair Kid Nation) Michael Carrino and his Children Michael Carrino and his Children mike@juvenilebraintrust.com No yes http://juvenilebraintrust.com/digicasts/other/JuvenileBrainTrust_144.jpg Juvenile Brain Trust http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog 144 144 08.10.17 - Halloween Costumes http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/51 http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/51#comments Fri, 17 Oct 2008 04:00:21 +0000 Michael Carrino http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/51 Halloween is just around the corner so the kids get to suggest three different options for Mike’s Halloween costume.  Of course, learning rears it’s ugly head and knowledge is imparted:

  • Beer can make you puke (if abused)
  • How to make a bitch (drink too much beer and barf on your girlfriend)
  • Homer (not Dante’s)
  • How to determin if you should be a long turd or a pile of crap for Halloween
  • There is a difference between Hippies and Hillbillies
  • Marrying your sister is illegal (mostly)

The Podcast Awards nominations are supposed to be announced Sunday.  If we are on the list of nominees, please vote for us.  If not, please vote for us at Podcast Alley.

]]> http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/51/feed 13:33 Halloween is just around the corner so the kids get to suggest three different options for Mike's Halloween costume.nbsp; Of course, learning rears it's ugly ... Halloween is just around the corner so the kids get to suggest three different options for Mike's Halloween costume.nbsp; Of course, learning rears it's ugly head and knowledge is imparted: Beer can make you puke (if abused) How to make a bitch (drink too much beer and barf on your girlfriend) Homer (not Dante's) How to determin if you should be a long turd or a pile of crap for Halloween There is a difference between Hippies and Hillbillies Marrying your sister is illegal (mostly) The Podcast Awards nominations are supposed to be announced Sunday.nbsp; If we are on the list of nominees, please vote for us.nbsp; If not, please vote for us at Podcast Alley. Podcast Michael Carrino and his Children no No 08.10.10 - Sleeping Beauty (w/Manberry Fruitcake) http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/49 http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/49#comments Fri, 10 Oct 2008 04:00:54 +0000 Michael Carrino http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/49 Let’s read an old-time fairy tale with a new twist on it.  Newer is not always better:

  • Over sweet makes people sick
  • What Angel Dust does to you
  • Little girl books have hard to pronounce names (too much sugar)
  • Cute fairy trick:  the lactose intolerance cloud
  • It doesn’t matter if you offend white people
  • The third eye / The brown eye / The back eye
  • How to make a bitch:  don’t invite her to your celebration
  • Anal pubic hair
  • Baby showers are kind of boring (or party type showers in general)
  • Be mean to Nonna — you’re a bitch for eternity
  • Rubbing your thrid eye
  • Fairytales these days are twisted correct and sickeningly sweet — yuck!
  • It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to grow strawberries
  • People love to worry about pretty people (no one worries about the uglies — do they?)
  • Strawberry Shortcake architecture is hideous
  • Too many thorns in your guarded place means no company (http://shaveeverywhere.com/)
  • What is a “Dirty Sanchez“?

Strawberry Shortcakes

Keep an eye out to see if we were nominated for a Podcast Award.  If we were, please vote early and often.  If not, then…

]]> http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/49/feed 39:07 Let's read an old-time fairy tale with a new twist on it.nbsp; Newer is not always better: Over sweet makes people sick What Angel Dust does to ... Let's read an old-time fairy tale with a new twist on it.nbsp; Newer is not always better: Over sweet makes people sick What Angel Dust does to you Little girl books have hard to pronounce names (too much sugar) Cute fairy trick:nbsp; the lactose intolerance cloud It doesn't matter if you offend white people The third eye / The brown eye / The back eye How to make a bitch:nbsp; don't invite her to your celebration Anal pubic hair Baby showers are kind of boring (or party type showers in general) Be mean to Nonna -- you're a bitch for eternity Rubbing your thrid eye Fairytales these days are twisted correct and sickeningly sweet -- yuck! It doesn't take a rocket scientist to grow strawberries People love to worry about pretty people (no one worries about the uglies -- do they?) Strawberry Shortcake architecture is hideous Too many thorns in your guarded place means no company (http://shaveeverywhere.com/) What is a "Dirty Sanchez"? Keep an eye out to see if we were nominated for a Podcast Award.nbsp; If we were, please vote early and often.nbsp; If not, then... Podcast Michael Carrino and his Children no No JBT Hosts Guest on “Armchair Survivor” http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/48 http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/48#comments Sat, 04 Oct 2008 04:00:09 +0000 Michael Carrino http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/48 The Juvenile Brain Trust hosts guest host Armchair Survivor while regular host Marji Carrino attends a conference in Floridia.  Can the kids actually host a normal podcast?  Check it out:

http://armchairsurvivor.com/blog/index.php/archives/140

]]> http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/48/feed 08.10.03 - Christian or Satanist? (Hard to choose just one) http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/47 http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/47#comments Fri, 03 Oct 2008 04:00:31 +0000 Michael Carrino http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/47 October is Halloween month — unless some goofy fundamentalist ruins it for all of us.  If we’re going to be over run by the dark lord, though, why not compare and contrast Christianity with Satanism — they both sound so tempting:

Ten Commandments

  1. (I am the LORD your God) You shall have no other gods before Me.
  2. You shall not make for yourself a carved image–any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.
  3. You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.
  4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
  5. Honor your father and your mother.
  6. You shall not murder.
  7. You shall not commit adultery.
  8. You shall not steal.
  9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
  10. You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.

More about the Ten Commandments — click here.

Eleven Satanic Rules of Earth

  1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.
  2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.
  3. When in another’s lair, show them respect or else do not go there.
  4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat them cruelly and without mercy.
  5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.
  6. Do not take that which does not belong to you, unless it is a burden to the other person and they cry out to be relieved.
  7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.
  8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.
  9. Do not harm little children.
  10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.
  11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they do not stop, destroy them.

More about Satanism’s Eleven Rules — click here.

Jesus and Satan from South Park on Comedy Central

Of course, this is just a cursory peek into some very significant concepts and Mike just reads this crap off the teleprompter so if you have anything to add or maybe even correct, please feel free to comment, leave a voice message or e-mail us.  We’ll probably give you credit — even if you’re right or wrong.  Go ahead and tells us — make our day!

Please vote for us at PodcastAlley and check out the Podcaster Awards web site to see if we got nominated for anything.  If we did, go vote for us or we’ll hit ya with both some Jesus and some Satan.  And then, the little boy will kick you in the balls.  Thank you.

]]> http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/47/feed 27:17 October is Halloween month -- unless some goofy fundamentalist ruins it for all of us.nbsp; If we're going to be over run by the dark ... October is Halloween month -- unless some goofy fundamentalist ruins it for all of us.nbsp; If we're going to be over run by the dark lord, though, why not compare and contrast Christianity with Satanism -- they both sound so tempting: Ten Commandments (I am the LORD your God) You shall have no other gods before Me. You shall not make for yourself a carved image--any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Honor your father and your mother. You shall not murder. You shall not commit adultery. You shall not steal. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's. More about the Ten Commandments -- click here. Eleven Satanic Rules of Earth Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them. When in anotherrsquo;s lair, show them respect or else do not go there. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat them cruelly and without mercy. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal. Do not take that which does not belong to you, unless it is a burden to the other person and they cry out to be relieved. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself. Do not harm little children. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they do not stop, destroy them. More about Satanism's Eleven Rules -- click here. Of course, this is just a cursory peek into some very significant concepts and Mike just reads this crap off the teleprompter so if you have anything to add or maybe even correct, please feel free to comment, leave a voice message or e-mail us.nbsp; We'll probably give you credit -- even if you're right or wrong.nbsp; Go ahead and tells us -- make our day! Please vote for us at PodcastAlley and check out the Podcaster Awards web site to see if we got nominated for anything.nbsp; If we did, go vote for us or we'll hit ya with both some Jesus and some Satan.nbsp; And then, the little boy will kick you in the balls.nbsp; Thank you. Podcast Michael Carrino and his Children no No 08.09.26 - Feedback Fun-The First Batch http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/46 http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/46#comments Fri, 26 Sep 2008 04:00:50 +0000 Michael Carrino http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/46 An audience feedback show has long been in order.  If you want to give your feedback, do so on this web site by leaving a comment, call the listener voice mail line at 234.525.0354 or e-mail us at show[at]juvenilebraintrust.com.  Further, you can also e-mail the individuals at nick@, mike@ and gab@ of the same domain (@juvenilebraintrust.com — you can also spell their first names out like “Michael@juv…”, etc.).  Anyhoo, here’s the first batch and the lessons learned:

  • Stopping your urine mid-stream hurts
  • Vote for us at the PodcastAwards.com
  • New voice mail number:  call us at 234.525.0354
  • Don’t listen to JBT at work (unless you KNOW FOR SURE it’s OK)
  • Don’t cut up dead hookers — or even kill them
  • Ball kicking is even painful when you’re just thinking about it
  • Wet farts usually smell bad longer
  • Some Satanists are very nice writers
  • Why urinal cakes?
  • Unorthodox parenting
  • The ball kicking sound (Indiana Jones‘ whip)
  • Which is more mature and/or comprehensive:  Blazing Saddles or Mean Girls
  • Satanist Matt Paradise gives us some internet love
  • Ass Hole -vs- Ass Crack
  • Slut -vs- Back Stabber
  • Diddling kids is bad — report it immediately
  • “Prick” can be bad or honorable

Thank you for your support and if you have any questions comments and/or answers for Juvenile Brain Trust comment on this blog, call us at 234.525.0354 or e-mail us at show [at] juvenilebraintrust.com.

Please nominate us for a podcaster award at http://podcastawards.com.  The two categories people have told us they would like to see us in are “People’s Choice” and “Education“.  As soon as the nominations are complete (nominations close at September 30, 2008) vote for us where ever you can.  It makes us feel good (yup, that’s selfish but this show is free — so far, right?).

]]> http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/46/feed 26:53 An audience feedback show has long been in order.nbsp; If you want to give your feedback, do so on this web site by leaving a ... An audience feedback show has long been in order.nbsp; If you want to give your feedback, do so on this web site by leaving a comment, call the listener voice mail line at 234.525.0354 or e-mail us at show[at]juvenilebraintrust.com.nbsp; Further, you can also e-mail the individuals at nick@, mike@ and gab@ of the same domain (@juvenilebraintrust.com -- you can also spell their first names out like "Michael@juv...", etc.).nbsp; Anyhoo, here's the first batch and the lessons learned: Stopping your urine mid-stream hurts Vote for us at the PodcastAwards.com New voice mail number:nbsp; call us at 234.525.0354 Don't listen to JBT at work (unless you KNOW FOR SURE it's OK) Don't cut up dead hookers -- or even kill them Ball kicking is even painful when you're just thinking about it Wet farts usually smell bad longer Some Satanists are very nice writers Why urinal cakes? Unorthodox parenting The ball kicking sound (Indiana Jones' whip) Which is more mature and/or comprehensive:nbsp; Blazing Saddles or Mean Girls Satanist Matt Paradise gives us some internet love Ass Hole -vs- Ass Crack Slut -vs- Back Stabber Diddling kids is bad -- report it immediately "Prick" can be bad or honorable Thank you for your support and if you have any questions comments and/or answers for Juvenile Brain Trust comment on this blog, call us at 234.525.0354 or e-mail us at show [at] juvenilebraintrust.com. Please nominate us for a podcaster award at http://podcastawards.com.nbsp; The two categories people have told us they would like to see us in are "People's Choice" and "Education".nbsp; As soon as the nominations are complete (nominations close at September 30, 2008) vote for us where ever you can.nbsp; It makes us feel good (yup, that's selfish but this show is free -- so far, right?). Podcast Michael Carrino and his Children no No 08.09.19 - Bible Bedtime Stories (w/The Angry Old Testimate God) http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/45 http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/45#comments Fri, 19 Sep 2008 04:00:38 +0000 Michael Carrino http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/45 It’s bed time and what better way to prepare your soul for sleep (and keep) than reading a couple of chapters from a children’s bible.  Mike may have injected some opinion lessons and enhanced the story a little (to, hopefully, make the stories a little more memorable).  Things learned tonight:

  • God made his bones by being angry — not interesting
  • Like we do today, God measured things in “football fields”
  • Ring around the plague
  • Being on an ark for 40 days may make you really want companionship
  • Some bible names are really hard to pronounce
  • A time when there were ONLY Jews (and other non-Christians)
  • God bossed Abraham around a lot
  • Canada was not actually mentioned in The Bible
  • Heff doesn’t have anything on Abraham (as far as age goes, but Bridget Marquardt is probably a lot hotter than Sarah — all of the girls probably are, actually).
  • Sacrifice means “kill” in The Bible
  • Abraham didn’t return God’s favor (Jesus still got crucified)
  • Is The Bible to be taken literal?
  • Abraham’s family had to do a lot of… (boink, boink)
  • The Bible takes place in the 1920’s?  Maybe not.
  • God gave Abraham and Sarah a little boy and gave George Busch the election (the latter may be an indication that God actually hates us all — a lot).
Abraham Not Reading To His Kid
“Abraham, don’t kill your child! Here, taketh a lesson from Michael’s Juvenile Brain Trust.”

Armchair Survivor and Survivor on CBS starts next week.  Check out http://ArmchairSurvivor.com.

Please vote for us at Podcast Alley (see right side of this page) and nominate us for best “Education” and “People’s Choice” podcasts at the Podcast Awards web site.  We found out someone hates us (or, at least Mike) so we’ll need all of the help we can get.  :-( *hugs*

Parents:  read to your kids.  You can’t be any worse than Mike.

]]> http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/45/feed 16:38 It's bed time and what better way to prepare your soul for sleep (and keep) than reading a couple of chapters from a children's bible.nbsp; ... It's bed time and what better way to prepare your soul for sleep (and keep) than reading a couple of chapters from a children's bible.nbsp; Mike may have injected some opinion lessons and enhanced the story a little (to, hopefully, make the stories a little more memorable).nbsp; Things learned tonight: God made his bones by being angry -- not interesting Like we do today, God measured things in "football fields" Ring around the plague Being on an ark for 40 days may make you really want companionship Some bible names are really hard to pronounce A time when there were ONLY Jews (and other non-Christians) God bossed Abraham around a lot Canada was not actually mentioned in The Bible Heff doesn't have anything on Abraham (as far as age goes, but Bridget Marquardt is probably a lot hotter than Sarah -- all of the girls probably are, actually). Sacrifice means "kill" in The Bible Abraham didn't return God's favor (Jesus still got crucified) Is The Bible to be taken literal? Abraham's family had to do a lot of... (boink, boink) The Bible takes place in the 1920's?nbsp; Maybe not. God gave Abraham and Sarah a little boy and gave George Busch the election (the latter may be an indication that God actually hates us all -- a lot). "Abraham, don't kill your child! Here, taketh a lesson from Michael's Juvenile Brain Trust." Armchair Survivor and Survivor on CBS starts next week.nbsp; Check out http://ArmchairSurvivor.com. Please vote for us at Podcast Alley (see right side of this page) and nominate us for best "Education" and "People's Choice" podcasts at the Podcast Awards web site.nbsp; We found out someone hates us (or, at least Mike) so we'll need all of the help we can get.nbsp; :-( *hugs* Parents:nbsp; read to your kids.nbsp; You can't be any worse than Mike. Podcast Michael Carrino and his Children no No 08.09.12 - Blazing Voters http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/44 http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/44#comments Fri, 12 Sep 2008 04:00:38 +0000 Michael Carrino http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/44 What’s better than a good movie?  A movie that leaves you with some important lessons — like “Blazing Saddles”:

  • Obama and Black Bart had something in common
  • Joe “Jim the Waco Kid” Biden
  • McCain:  Headly Lamar or Governor Lepetomane?
  • Governor Palin:  The Governor’s Secretary or Lily Von Shtupp?
  • Bush/Cheney:  Lepetomane/Lamar?
  • Hiding the silverware
  • Vitamin E
  • Pretty girls are good diversions
  • How to land grab and do other legal but socially horrible things
  • We shouldn’t care about Bristol Lynne Spears — uh, Palin
  • Mongo: Joe Lieberman or Dennis Kucinich?
  • Obama Campaign theme song suggestion:  “Blazing Saddles”
Bart, Jim, Obama and Joe

Also, vote for us (see right side of this page) and Marji and Mike are starting their seventh season of Armchair Survivor (http://ArmchairSurvivor.com).

Wanna hear your voice on our show:  call us at 234.525.0354 and maybe we’ll use your message (please be clever, funny or profound).

]]> http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/44/feed 21:16 What's better than a good movie?nbsp; A movie that leaves you with some important lessons -- like "Blazing Saddles": Obama and Black Bart had something in ... What's better than a good movie?nbsp; A movie that leaves you with some important lessons -- like "Blazing Saddles": Obama and Black Bart had something in common Joe "Jim the Waco Kid" Biden McCain:nbsp; Headly Lamar or Governor Lepetomane? Governor Palin:nbsp; The Governor's Secretary or Lily Von Shtupp? Bush/Cheney:nbsp; Lepetomane/Lamar? Hiding the silverware Vitamin E Pretty girls are good diversions How to land grab and do other legal but socially horrible things We shouldn't care about Bristol Lynne Spears -- uh, Palin Mongo: Joe Lieberman or Dennis Kucinich? Obama Campaign theme song suggestion:nbsp; "Blazing Saddles" Also, vote for us (see right side of this page) and Marji and Mike are starting their seventh season of Armchair Survivor (http://ArmchairSurvivor.com). Wanna hear your voice on our show:nbsp; call us at 234.525.0354 and maybe we'll use your message (please be clever, funny or profound). Podcast Michael Carrino and his Children no No 08.09.05 - Bitchocrats and Republicunts http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/43 http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/43#comments Fri, 05 Sep 2008 04:00:48 +0000 Michael Carrino http://kidnation.tubecasts.com/blog/index.php/archives/43 Gabrielle poders glass ceiling breakers Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin

Everyone is a buzz about politics these days and it’s no different with the Juvenile Brain Trust. Our little co-hostes and her dad discuss women in politics and political parties. In the end, poor thing finds out there is a special political glass ceiling just for her. In today’s lesson:

  • There’s Obama and … (don’t worry, he probably forgot, too)
  • McCain as a party guest
  • Hanoi Hilton -vs- Club Fed
  • “Liquoring up the McCain“
  • Democrap
  • Hilary Clinton -vs- Sarah Palin
  • Sarah Palin’s Google test of approval (her ex-brother-in-law may not be of much help)
  • Hilary Clinton’s Google test of approval (oops)
  • Stay away from motorboats that eat peanut butter crackers
  • Gary Leland (PodcastPickle.com) and Mike -- both ... uhm, jolly.Gary (Podcast Pickle) and Mike like taking pictures next to each other
  • Delaware: the big city block
  • Kids like the Olympics better the the DNC or RNC
  • How politicians do physical exercise
  • We’re living in a police state (thank you Mr. Busch — we’re just as fucked as the countries at which we used to laugh)
  • Why you should use condoms — even teenagers (Bristol?)

Thank you very much to Keith and The Girl for suggesting we run for one of the highest offices in the land of Podcasting. And congrats to them, also, for their recent wedding. Remember Chemda, if you don’t take your pill, you’ll have to wipe the result’s bottom.

The happy couple, Keith and Chemda from Keith and The Girl
]]> http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/43/feed 17:08 Everyone is a buzz about politics these days and it's no different with the Juvenile Brain Trust. Our little co-hostes and her dad discuss women ... Everyone is a buzz about politics these days and it's no different with the Juvenile Brain Trust. Our little co-hostes and her dad discuss women in politics and political parties. In the end, poor thing finds out there is a special political glass ceiling just for her. In today's lesson: There's Obama and ... (don't worry, he probably forgot, too) McCain as a party guest Hanoi Hilton -vs- Club Fed "Liquoring up the McCain" Democrap Hilary Clinton -vs- Sarah Palin Sarah Palin's Google test of approval (her ex-brother-in-law may not be of much help) Hilary Clinton's Google test of approval (oops) Stay away from motorboats that eat peanut butter crackers Gary (Podcast Pickle) and Mike like taking pictures next to each other Delaware: the big city block Kids like the Olympics better the the DNC or RNC How politicians do physical exercise We're living in a police state (thank you Mr. Busch -- we're just as fucked as the countries at which we used to laugh) Why you should use condoms -- even teenagers (Bristol?) Thank you very much to Keith and The Girl for suggesting we run for one of the highest offices in the land of Podcasting. And congrats to them, also, for their recent wedding. Remember Chemda, if you don't take your pill, you'll have to wipe the result's bottom. Podcast Michael Carrino and his Children no No 08.08.29 - Happy Music http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/41 http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/41#comments Fri, 29 Aug 2008 04:00:06 +0000 Michael Carrino http://kidnation.tubecasts.com/blog/index.php/archives/41 So happy with his YouTube experience, the little man thirsts for more but Mike thinks there is more to online video than just kicks in the balls — hence, they spend some time watching a foreign film as well as a film about Jesus. Lessons learned today:

  • Pornography has no upper age limit
  • Suspect solutions that come from men who make you jump on without your underwear
  • How to be a teenager
  • YouTube doesn’t have porn but XTube does
  • Love looses something in the translation with some cultures
  • Butt turds and cunt turd may be equal in some cultures
  • Both Pee and Turds take fun rides when they leave your body
  • Mike finds someone with whom he can feel superior
  • Some kids need a handle so as to not fly across the bathroom when crapping
  • How crucifixion kills you
  • Anything is better with silly music behind it setting the mood
  • Music is how the director tells you how to feel during a movie
  • How to make a funeral more enjoyable

If you’d like to enhance today’s show, you can view the videos our hosts were watching here:

How to Poop: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRGUmAuSFxA

Passion of the Christ: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQka7o0vYHo

Also check out some other videos related to the poop video…

Vocal Subtitles: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJgKuLq-f58

Original Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZoGf47Z3aY

Vote for us (see right side of this page for more information).

]]> http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/41/feed 24:53 So happy with his YouTube experience, the little man thirsts for more but Mike thinks there is more to online video than just kicks in ... So happy with his YouTube experience, the little man thirsts for more but Mike thinks there is more to online video than just kicks in the balls -- hence, they spend some time watching a foreign film as well as a film about Jesus. Lessons learned today: Pornography has no upper age limit Suspect solutions that come from men who make you jump on without your underwear How to be a teenager YouTube doesn't have porn but XTube does Love looses something in the translation with some cultures Butt turds and cunt turd may be equal in some cultures Both Pee and Turds take fun rides when they leave your body Mike finds someone with whom he can feel superior Some kids need a handle so as to not fly across the bathroom when crapping How crucifixion kills you Anything is better with silly music behind it setting the mood Music is how the director tells you how to feel during a movie How to make a funeral more enjoyable If you'd like to enhance today's show, you can view the videos our hosts were watching here: How to Poop: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRGUmAuSFxA Passion of the Christ: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQka7o0vYHo Also check out some other videos related to the poop video... Vocal Subtitles: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJgKuLq-f58 Original Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZoGf47Z3aY Vote for us (see right side of this page for more information). Podcast Michael Carrino and his Children no No 08.08.22 - A Kick In The YouTube http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/40 http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/40#comments Fri, 22 Aug 2008 04:00:16 +0000 Michael Carrino http://kidnation.tubecasts.com/blog/index.php/archives/40 Boys will learn this soon enough but why not give the little guys a heads up?

Our little man is sad because he got left behind as his sister got to go with her friends to the public library. So why not cheer the little guy up with a valuable lessons for growing boys. It’s also funny to watch douche bags get hit in the nards. Today’s video experiences include:

Leave comments about this show below or a voice comment on our listener comment line at 234-525-0354. We’re going to try to incorporate the comments into the show eventually (depending on what we get). Also, vote for us at Podcast Alley and all the other places — or this kid will kick you in the balls (so he says).

Juvenile Brain Trust One Last Piece Of Business…
We’re changing the name of the podcast to “Juvenile Brain Trust“. Though we’re disappointed with CBS for not making a second season of Kid Nation, we’re moving on and getting off the armchair. For you, the fans, though, the only real change will be the name — unless we can do something better.
]]> http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/40/feed 17:45 Boys will learn this soon enough but why not give the little guys a heads up? Our little man is sad because he got left behind ... Boys will learn this soon enough but why not give the little guys a heads up? Our little man is sad because he got left behind as his sister got to go with her friends to the public library. So why not cheer the little guy up with a valuable lessons for growing boys. It's also funny to watch douche bags get hit in the nards. Today's video experiences include: The crappy (in a good way) page header of Cheryl Merkowski's whorehole.org blog Nick and Shawn Johnson are both minors. Lovely Alicia Sacramone showing what she wished she could have done to China Emo's vs Dwarfs Girls don't really feel sorry for you when you get kicked in the balls Little Japanese girls can make your nuts flop Maybe he should have just settled for the lame birthday song Big man on campus -- not if you get kicked in the balls by a hot chick Rock, Paper, Kick! Squirming across the floor like a pet that just got hit by a car after you get kick in the balls Hanging your friends by your balls You shouldn't let people kick you in the balls -- preserve your balls. Leave comments about this show below or a voice comment on our listener comment line at 234-525-0354. We're going to try to incorporate the comments into the show eventually (depending on what we get). Also, vote for us at Podcast Alley and all the other places -- or this kid will kick you in the balls (so he says). One Last Piece Of Business... We're changing the name of the podcast to "Juvenile Brain Trust". Though we're disappointed with CBS for not making a second season of Kid Nation, we're moving on and getting off the armchair. For you, the fans, though, the only real change will be the name -- unless we can do something better. Podcast Michael Carrino and his Children yes No 08.08.15 - Nonsense in Context http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/39 http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/39#comments Fri, 15 Aug 2008 04:00:22 +0000 Michael Carrino http://kidnation.tubecasts.com/blog/index.php/archives/39 Why do we know what one means when he says, “her jizz-tangle was warm and moist”? It’s context! No geometry book has ever discussed the jizztangle. In short, the kids learn how to say stuff without actually saying it — and making people laugh … maybe. Today’s lessons include:

  • How do we know a “Dingle Hoo Ha” is a penis
  • Talking about uncomfortable things in front of people who can’t take it
  • “Blubber cushions”can have two meanings
  • You can’t have a crack by itself
  • You don’t store poop in your butt cheeks – I’m sorry, bottom cheeks.
  • “Cock-and-balls” is over the top non-subtle
  • Nasty surprises make people laugh
  • Visualization: “Your volcano erupted”
  • Teen aged rabbits
  • “Your barn door is open”
  • No man wants to think of his penis as a “bunny”. A “dog” is average. A “goldfish” is right out!
  • “Big bushy triangular va-jay-jay”
  • Bumpity-boo rides in a giant blown-up condom with wheels (thanx Tim)

Vote for us at PodcastAlley.com and everywhere else. Feed our egos. Thanx. (we’re under the “Kids & Family” category)

See what people are saying about us on Podcast Alley.  Makes us feel good inside.

]]> http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/39/feed 15:49 Why do we know what one means when he says, "her jizz-tangle was warm and moist"? It's context! No geometry book has ever ... Why do we know what one means when he says, "her jizz-tangle was warm and moist"? It's context! No geometry book has ever discussed the jizztangle. In short, the kids learn how to say stuff without actually saying it -- and making people laugh ... maybe. Today's lessons include: How do we know a "Dingle Hoo Ha" is a penis Talking about uncomfortable things in front of people who can't take it "Blubber cushions"can have two meanings You can't have a crack by itself You don't store poop in your butt cheeks -- I'm sorry, bottom cheeks. "Cock-and-balls" is over the top non-subtle Nasty surprises make people laugh Visualization: "Your volcano erupted" Teen aged rabbits "Your barn door is open" No man wants to think of his penis as a "bunny". A "dog" is average. A "goldfish" is right out! "Big bushy triangular va-jay-jay" Bumpity-boo rides in a giant blown-up condom with wheels (thanx Tim) Vote for us at PodcastAlley.com and everywhere else. Feed our egos. Thanx. (we're under the "Kids #38; Family" category) See what people are saying about us on Podcast Alley.nbsp; Makes us feel good inside. Podcast Michael Carrino and his Children yes No 08.08.08 - The Art Of Pee http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/37 http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/37#comments Fri, 08 Aug 2008 04:00:47 +0000 Michael Carrino http://kidnation.tubecasts.com/blog/index.php/archives/37 How did you learn how to urinate? Really? Sure, not wetting yourself not that big of a deal at your age (for most of us) but what about the finer points of the art? Mike takes the boy on a tour of elimination in an effort to teach him some of the finer points of the art:

Rest Stops (Public Restrooms)

  • Governor Ted Strickland makes nice Ohio Restrooms
  • Three types of bathrooms (men, women, etc.)
  • Really long members
  • The soap thing at the bottom of a urinal
  • The most disgusting thing
  • Sneaky pee
  • Why does it hurt when you get kicked in the balls (still unanswered)?

Outside

  • Picking a spot
  • The finger test
  • Avoiding children’s bedrooms (and law suits)
  • Avoiding the well head
  • Don’t pee behind your buddy
  • Don’t cross the stream (unless your a professional)
  • Don’t stick your fingers in your mouth

The Art

  • Methods
Cheryl Merkowski from WhoreHole.org Madge Weinstein from Yeast Radio

We’d like to thank Cheryl Merkowski from WhoreHole.org for her inspirational words that helped our little host learn how to use the potty long, log ago. Auntie Madge Weinstein from Yeast Radio chimes in with influential oral hygiene tips as well.

Vote for us — see the right side of this page.

]]> http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/37/feed 16:51 How did you learn how to urinate? Really? Sure, not wetting yourself not that big of a deal at your age (for most ... How did you learn how to urinate? Really? Sure, not wetting yourself not that big of a deal at your age (for most of us) but what about the finer points of the art? Mike takes the boy on a tour of elimination in an effort to teach him some of the finer points of the art: Rest Stops (Public Restrooms) Governor Ted Strickland makes nice Ohio Restrooms Three types of bathrooms (men, women, etc.) Really long members The soap thing at the bottom of a urinal The most disgusting thing Sneaky pee Why does it hurt when you get kicked in the balls (still unanswered)? Outside Picking a spot The finger test Avoiding children's bedrooms (and law suits) Avoiding the well head Don't pee behind your buddy Don't cross the stream (unless your a professional) Don't stick your fingers in your mouth The Art Methods We'd like to thank Cheryl Merkowski from WhoreHole.org for her inspirational words that helped our little host learn how to use the potty long, log ago. Auntie Madge Weinstein from Yeast Radio chimes in with influential oral hygiene tips as well. Vote for us -- see the right side of this page. Podcast Michael Carrino and his Children no No Matt G Paridise’s Review of Armchair Kid Nation http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/38 http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/38#comments Sun, 03 Aug 2008 08:57:21 +0000 Michael Carrino http://kidnation.tubecasts.com/blog/index.php/archives/38 Matt G Paridise's Diabologue 

Check this out — see if you agree:  http://purgingtalon.com/diabologue/?p=186

]]> http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/38/feed 08.08.01 - Showing Adults Respect http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/36 http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/36#comments Fri, 01 Aug 2008 04:00:17 +0000 Michael Carrino http://kidnation.tubecasts.com/blog/index.php/archives/36 If there is one thing that really grinds Mike’s little head down to the shaft with a rasp is when kids call adults by their first name — especially when that adult is Mike. With that the lessons begin:

  • Review: the 5 to 1 ratio (thanx to [Creepy] Dutch Step Uncle Tim Henson’s Distorted View)
  • When “Mr. Prick” is a term of respect
  • People can talk to adults as a piers when they pay bills and stuff
  • Calling your parents “Fuckhead” and “Douchbag”
  • Everyone at a company picnic knows what a douche is
  • Why the “F” word is magic
  • How to clean out a va-jay-jay
  • Ending sentences with prepositions

Mr. Sam Sam from the Are We There Yet Podcast and Mrs. Kim Kim from the Are We There Yet Podcast (Are We There Yet Podcast) discuss the merits - or not - of Kid Nation — we love ‘em both anyway.

Click Here For Bonus Podcast08.08.01 BNS 01 - Student Teacher Our co-hostess shares a little incident with her father that makes him proud to see she has learned something from all of this podcasting; but, alas, he must tell her some sad truth — and some not so sad truth, too.

Vote for us (see the right side of this page).

]]> http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/36/feed 14:02 If there is one thing that really grinds Mike's little head down to the shaft with a rasp is when kids call adults by their ... If there is one thing that really grinds Mike's little head down to the shaft with a rasp is when kids call adults by their first name -- especially when that adult is Mike. With that the lessons begin: Review: the 5 to 1 ratio (thanx to [Creepy] Dutch Step Uncle Tim Henson's Distorted View) When "Mr. Prick" is a term of respect People can talk to adults as a piers when they pay bills and stuff Calling your parents "Fuckhead" and "Douchbag" Everyone at a company picnic knows what a douche is Why the "F" word is magic How to clean out a va-jay-jay Ending sentences with prepositions Mr. Sam and Mrs. Kim (Are We There Yet Podcast) discuss the merits - or not - of Kid Nation -- we love 'em both anyway. 08.08.01 BNS 01 - Student Teacher Our co-hostess shares a little incident with her father that makes him proud to see she has learned something from all of this podcasting; but, alas, he must tell her some sad truth -- and some not so sad truth, too. Vote for us (see the right side of this page). Bonus,Podcast,,Podcast Michael Carrino and his Children no No 08.07.25 - Superhero Physics http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/35 http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/35#comments Fri, 25 Jul 2008 04:00:48 +0000 Michael Carrino http://kidnation.tubecasts.com/blog/index.php/archives/35 Sure, we’d all like to fly like Superman but do you know how painful that could be? Today the kids reflect on the real physics behind being a superhero. It will make you appreciate being a mere mortal. Today’s lessons:

  • Why there is no fart flying
  • Why Spiderman shoots webs from his hands
  • Norm Augustinus’s shit shaping is not for superheros (more for household products)
  • How to attack someone with pee and poop
  • Catheters (why people don’t shoot real bullets from their peckers)
  • Pulling on your privates until it hurt
  • How Satan plays with his penis
  • Are superheros tough enough to have genital based superpowers?
  • Believe in yourselves because superheros don’t make sense

Vote early, vote often. See the right side of this blog page.

]]> http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/35/feed 13:52 Sure, we'd all like to fly like Superman but do you know how painful that could be? Today the kids reflect on the real ... Sure, we'd all like to fly like Superman but do you know how painful that could be? Today the kids reflect on the real physics behind being a superhero. It will make you appreciate being a mere mortal. Today's lessons: Why there is no fart flying Why Spiderman shoots webs from his hands Norm Augustinus's shit shaping is not for superheros (more for household products) How to attack someone with pee and poop Catheters (why people don't shoot real bullets from their peckers) Pulling on your privates until it hurt How Satan plays with his penis Are superheros tough enough to have genital based superpowers? Believe in yourselves because superheros don't make sense Vote early, vote often. See the right side of this blog page. Podcast Michael Carrino and his Children yes No 08.07.18 - Hypocrisy and Justice http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/34 http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/34#comments Fri, 18 Jul 2008 04:00:49 +0000 Michael Carrino http://kidnation.tubecasts.com/blog/index.php/archives/34 This weekend both refrigerators died which means it’s time to recycle old appliances which gives Mike an opportunity to teach his little girl about our natural resources? Hell no! Have you been listening?

This week’s lessons are:

  • How corporate recycling works — we think
  • Blue kids in the refrigerator
  • Women lie, men are insensitive
  • Rationalization
  • Asshole parking
  • Son of a gun
  • Talking on the cell phone in public
  • Putting things away in the store
  • Being a half asshole (better than a whole asshole)
  • Going to the store to teach the kids about the thing they shouldn’t do
  • Tailgating is bad
  • Using Sponge Bob to piss off serious friends

Special guest appearances from Keiths Malley and McNalley.

Please vote for us — see the right side of this page.

Mike goes to Aldi for a free quarterClick Here For Bonus Podcast08.07.18 BNS 01 - Making a Free Quarter Mike takes a trip to Aldi and takes advantage of their deposit for a cart policy. What a cheap bastard. What do you think he’ll do with that quarter? Do you think if he swallowed it two dimes and a nickel would come out the other end? Just wondering.

]]> http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/34/feed 21:19 This weekend both refrigerators died which means it's time to recycle old appliances which gives Mike an opportunity to teach his little girl about our ... This weekend both refrigerators died which means it's time to recycle old appliances which gives Mike an opportunity to teach his little girl about our natural resources? Hell no! Have you been listening? This week's lessons are: How corporate recycling works -- we think Blue kids in the refrigerator Women lie, men are insensitive Rationalization Asshole parking Son of a gun Talking on the cell phone in public Putting things away in the store Being a half asshole (better than a whole asshole) Going to the store to teach the kids about the thing they shouldn't do Tailgating is bad Using Sponge Bob to piss off serious friends Special guest appearances from Keiths Malley and McNalley. Please vote for us -- see the right side of this page. 08.07.18 BNS 01 - Making a Free Quarter Mike takes a trip to Aldi and takes advantage of their deposit for a cart policy. What a cheap bastard. What do you think he'll do with that quarter? Do you think if he swallowed it two dimes and a nickel would come out the other end? Just wondering. Bonus,Podcast,,Podcast Michael Carrino and his Children yes No 08.07.11 - Barely an Inappropriate Word http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/33 http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/33#comments Fri, 11 Jul 2008 04:00:48 +0000 Michael Carrino http://kidnation.tubecasts.com/blog/index.php/archives/33 As our three hosts eat lunch right before the girl is to be taken to a workshop, the lessons continue. Today’s conversation includes:

  • How people should not attempt to get their share
  • H-E-double whatever the fuck you call it
  • Atheist or Christian? | Atheist and/or Jew?
  • People are afraid of the word “Hell” (and “Death” and “Dead”)
  • Learning your lesson about getting possessed by Satan (and not the fun one)
  • Busy bodies
  • Hell is barely a curse word
  • Soulless Assholes may not go to hell (how’s that fair?)
  • Why not say the Lord’s name in vein
  • Dad’s camping in Hell
  • Going to hell with her Dad
  • Finger pointers

NEW FEATURE: Every once in a while, we record more material than will fit in one show. For the people to come to the web site only, we have a bonus show. This material does not show up in our RSS feed. Enjoy!

Click Here For Bonus Podcast08.07.11 BNS 01 - A New Game After lunch, our co-hostes is being driven to her workshop and after a call from his father, Mike comes up with an idea for a new Japanamation show. This show is based on Nickelodeon’s “Avatar: The Last Airbender” except on this show, the superheros bend farts. Later she suggests a similar show that based on drawings by KaTG’s Rellek. Later there is a discussion about the Second Baptist Church.

Also, check out the “Vote For Us” section on the right side of this blog. Vote early. Vote often. Vote a lot.

]]> http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/33/feed 23:41 As our three hosts eat lunch right before the girl is to be taken to a workshop, the lessons continue. Today's conversation includes: How people should ... As our three hosts eat lunch right before the girl is to be taken to a workshop, the lessons continue. Today's conversation includes: How people should not attempt to get their share H-E-double whatever the fuck you call it Atheist or Christian? #124; Atheist and/or Jew? People are afraid of the word "Hell" (and "Death" and "Dead") Learning your lesson about getting possessed by Satan (and not the fun one) Busy bodies Hell is barely a curse word Soulless Assholes may not go to hell (how's that fair?) Why not say the Lord's name in vein Dad's camping in Hell Going to hell with her Dad Finger pointers NEW FEATURE: Every once in a while, we record more material than will fit in one show. For the people to come to the web site only, we have a bonus show. This material does not show up in our RSS feed. Enjoy! 08.07.11 BNS 01 - A New Game After lunch, our co-hostes is being driven to her workshop and after a call from his father, Mike comes up with an idea for a new Japanamation show. This show is based on Nickelodeon's "Avatar: The Last Airbender" except on this show, the superheros bend farts. Later she suggests a similar show that based on drawings by KaTG's Rellek. Later there is a discussion about the Second Baptist Church. Also, check out the "Vote For Us" section on the right side of this blog. Vote early. Vote often. Vote a lot. Bonus,Podcast,,Podcast Michael Carrino and his Children no No 08.07.04 - Telephone Shopping http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/32 http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/32#comments Fri, 04 Jul 2008 04:00:01 +0000 Michael Carrino http://kidnation.tubecasts.com/blog/index.php/archives/32 Marji sent Mike and the daughter to the local big-box-electronics store to buy a new wireless telephone before the holiday weekend. Despite his preoccupation with electronics, there was a little time on the way there and on the way back to pound another lesson or three into the kid’s brain — what a father he is! Today we learn about:

  • Edward Quartermaine (played by David Lewis, of course) from General HospitalSport and how it matters
  • Mike’s mentor for when he grows up
  • Edward Quartermaine (played by David Lewis, of course)
  • The Podcasting / Adam Curry / Douche Bag / Period / Uterus / Holocaust Continuum
  • Old fucks / Cantankerous old fucks
  • The kid’s place when Mike gets old
  • Grandpa vs Mike
  • Getting arrested
  • Who invented podcasting? Who dominates podcasting?
  • Douche bags
  • Child bearing
  • How the uterus keeps women from sitting on eggs
  • Menstruation
  • Diva cups and the like
  • Hatchet wound

Question of the Week
What cantankerous old fuck should Mike should grow up to be?
Answer below in the comments.

Also, if you’d like, vote for us see the “Vote For Us” section in the right column of this page.

]]> http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/32/feed 19:35 Marji sent Mike and the daughter to the local big-box-electronics store to buy a new wireless telephone before the holiday weekend. Despite his preoccupation with ... Marji sent Mike and the daughter to the local big-box-electronics store to buy a new wireless telephone before the holiday weekend. Despite his preoccupation with electronics, there was a little time on the way there and on the way back to pound another lesson or three into the kid's brain -- what a father he is! Today we learn about: Sport and how it matters Mike's mentor for when he grows up Edward Quartermaine (played by David Lewis, of course) The Podcasting / Adam Curry / Douche Bag / Period / Uterus / Holocaust Continuum Old fucks / Cantankerous old fucks The kid's place when Mike gets old Grandpa vs Mike Getting arrested Who invented podcasting? Who dominates podcasting? Douche bags Child bearing How the uterus keeps women from sitting on eggs Menstruation Diva cups and the like Hatchet wound Question of the Week What cantankerous old fuck should Mike should grow up to be? Answer below in the comments. Also, if you'd like, vote for us see the "Vote For Us" section in the right column of this page. Podcast Michael Carrino and his Children no No The Amazing Alt http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/25 http://juvenilebraintrust.com/blog/index.php/archives/25#comments Wed, 02 Jul 2008 04:00:37 +0000 Michael Carrino http://kidnation.tubecasts.com/blog/index.php/archives/25 It looks like reality may strike close to home. Mrs. Alt (the lovely wife of our own BrianAlt), along with her sister, has her eye on the Amazing Race. Maybe Marji and Mike should do an Armchair Amazing Race. Either way, we know for whom we will be cheering!

Mrs. Alt and her sister.

Watch the video: [click here to watch]

Download the video: TheAmazingAlt.avi